Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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