i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
