Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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