May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
