she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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