yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
