I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
