9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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