He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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