Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
