upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
