so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
