I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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