she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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