And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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