look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
