I think I died a long time ago.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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