He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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