i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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