He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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