we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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