My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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