So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
3 2 1 whiskey
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
