So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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