Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
