I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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