plz talk dirty to me
She's JV to your varsity
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
