Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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