I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
