you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
