Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
