I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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