Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
