It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
