we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
