So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
