did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
