I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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