I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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