it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
