I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
