You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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