I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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