so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
