Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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