So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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