It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't think brook has ever known best
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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