I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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