Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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