The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
