Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
