im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His hands were made for my vagina.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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